From my Heart

Confidence.  Do you have it?  Are you confident in Jesus?  Do you really believe, really trust?

"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded."  Hebrews 10:35

Life comes at us hard and the blows hit exactly where they were meant to.  The arrows of the hateful one hit their mark.  Make no mistake about that.  The one who comes against us is good at his game.  Are you?  Are you equipped?  Are you masterful at your game?  We heard some truthful words this weekend.  And they too found their mark, they too accomplished the purpose for which they were sent.  Will you let them in?  Will you hold them close and brand them on your heart and in your mind?  Will you turn your face away from (close your ears to) the one who screams and dare to look to the One who loves?  Who whispers?  Who spreads light and make the darkness vanish?  Will you let go of the bar that is titled comfort zone?  Can you love enough to let go of the things that hurt.  It takes choice, courage, action, faith to let go of the things that have gripped us so tightly.  As painful as those things are, they are known and common and even comfortable and expected.  

Funny, we identify with what is known, like pain or failure.  We fully understand pain even make room for it, lay down with it, make excuses for it - but love.  Do we dare to love?  Really love.  To step out of that comfortable place, for the child Jesus died to save, do we fear rejection by the ones we want to help?  Or do we shy away because they are so different from us.  Uncomfortable with their sin?   That's right, I said uncomfortable with their sin!  With our God given Spiritual eyes we can sometimes see their sin but do we become blind to our own.  Without drinking deeply from the Word of Truth we become blind to the love that Jesus died to give us, the love that God commands us to have for one another, the love that sets us free. 

The words from the song Hope Now sung by Addison Road, written by Ryan Gregg.

If everything comes down to love

Then just what am I afraid of?

When I call out Your name

Something inside awakes in my soul

How quickly I forget I'm yours

I'm not my own

I've been carried by you 

All my life

Everything rides on hope now

Everything rides on faith somehow

When the world has broken me down 

Your love sets me free.

 And you have been set free!

That freedom came with a price, freely given while we still hated and didn't know love.  One of my favorite verses - 1John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.  So simple but so true.  We cannot love without the One whose Word is Truth branded on and hidden in our hearts, transforming and renewing our mind, setting us free to love and accept the pain that can sometimes come from loving deeply.   

Understand this:  There is no other like Him.  He is the King of Kings, the Beginning and the End, the One who was and is and is to come.  He is the One who dwells in unapproachable light, the Glorious One.  And know this:  God will not be tolerated.  He instructs us to worship and fear Him; to know Him is to know His Word and obey. (excerpt from the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan)

God Bless you sisters.  I pray that as you go about your week that you look to the One who loves you and worship at the feet that created all that you love.  Amen.    

Just a Post

I was wondering around blog land, going from one to the next looking for something to inspire me.  I found it and plenty more.  

I started with Just A Girl and then . . . when I landed on Beneath My Heart everything stopped. 

It was not about something to fill my time or work to do with my hands although those two things are good things, it became about something much more grand.  

It became about the one thing that will never change.  It became about Love.  Times may change and people may think they change, but there is one thing that remains the same and that is the heart and it's need for love.  

  

It loved us first.   It has no fear.  It covers a multitude of sins.  

It brought me to redemption. It surpasses understanding. 

 It never puffs up but always builds up.  It quiets.  

It's unfailing.  It is patient.  It is kind.  It does not envy.  

It is not proud.  It is not rude, it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  

It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.  

It is the greatest.  It is what all the songs are about.  It binds us together.  

It produces "liquid prayers."  

It is the only thing that goes with us to heaven.      

I was encouraged and blessed and crying . . . and was given a jewel that will always stay in my heart.  I hope you go there and read her post for today.  I think you will be encouraged to. 

Sweetness.   

Sisters

Having a sister is the best gift in the world.  Right?  I don't have one but I do have two daughter's and I have watched them grow up.  As sisters and they are opposites and just alike, all at the same time.  One is loud; one quiet - one will tell you about it; the other will watch - take it all in.  One the instigator; one the peace maker.  I love watching them and I envy them just a little.  

I have sisters, too.  You know the ones, the sisterhood of motherhood, sisters in Christ, sisters as friends.  They add a great dimension to my life.  The creative ones inspire me, the talkative ones intrigue me, the funny ones make me laugh, the thoughtful ones may me cry and deep ones take me with them as we go deeper still.  

I have a hurt sister out there, a mad sister, an angry sister - an ex-sister.   She was once a friend but today I am feeling pain for her, like never before.  I want so desperately to reach out to her and I have wanted to all year.  I keep hoping for healing, hoping for an opening, a place to reach through the pain.  If there was one I missed it or wasn't ready myself and now I fear too much time has gone by and now I can't or won't. I feel all jumbled up  inside when it comes to her.  I hurt her.  I thought I was doing what I had to do, needed to do, to protect others, to keep others from being hurt.  But today, one year later, I'm still thinking about her, still looking back, still analyzing - wondering, did I do the right thing?

Last night I listened to a man - an ordinary man.  He is a husband, a dad, a farmer, a preacher.  You would never know by looking at his unassuming ways, his plain clothes, his stature that he has much to say, much less anything that I need to hear.  He is a kind man, you can see that you can hear it.  His tone of voice is kind, not too surgery soft, not the kind that makes me want to throw up, not condescending, the kind that make me want to . . .  well, I'll just leave that one to your imagination.  But kind, full of wisdom, says what needs to be said.  I don't know him very well, but I have been around him a little this past year - this man - unassuming, quiet, kind, is anointed to preach the Word of God.  Last night he talked about spiritual battles and that we do have an enemy that wants to destroy everything that is good, that is God, that is beautiful, and he talked about forgiveness. 

He's right, you know.  

Looking back I realized that I could have handled the situation better, I could have been bolder and told my sister, not with anger but with honesty, what the problem was, instead I tried to do it in a way that I thought was easier for me, and I lied to myself, for her.  Hoping she would understand, be okay with it.  Hoping that it would not destroy our friendship, turns out the truth was have served us both much better.  Now, in the year since, there has been a bevy of miscommunication, rumors, things taken out of context, you name it.  Just plain hurt, the accuser of the brethren has destroyed what was lovely, sweet, and beautiful and now is broken and never to be repaired.  Maybe we could talk and but after all this time how do you bring up all that stuff and work out this twisted mess?  I don't think you do.  And if someone feels that you betrayed them to the level that she feels I did to her, how do you get over something like  that, I don't think you do.  I think you move on.  I think . . .  you just move on.  Try to look honestly at yourself, forgive yourself, pray for forgiveness and blessings for her, and move on.  

I am so tired of this hurt, I'm just ready to move on . . .  or maybe go to the mountains or the beach.  

I'm having a beachy/mountain thing here this week.  I think it's because of BooMama, she's at the beach with her sisters, whether they're friend sisters or blood sisters I forgot but they're there and eating good and laughing and I want to go too.  I'm ready to get past this thing and go laugh real hard and cry while I do it.  Yea that's it, I want to laugh til I cry and then I want to sit and watch the waves hit the shore and smile at the memory of my youngest doing cart-wheels up and down the beach one year, the whole day I might add.  That was the year of the cart-wheel for her.  She cart wheeled to the car, when we got to the beach she cart wheeled out and up and down the beach all day.  I think she even cart wheeled through the outdoor shower and to the car, then slept like a baby the whole way home.  That was a good day.

       

Titus 2 Tuesday

Thank you Lord for my friend Diane Farmer, who is my featured Titus 2 woman. 

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.  Titus 2:3 - 4 

Thank you Shanda at A Teachable Heart, there you will find other testimonies of Titus 2 women, reaching out into the lives of others, so that no one will malign the Word of God.

My mind is flooded with all the things to tell you about Diane, I'm having a hard time getting them organized, I'll start with the beginning.  I first met her through the Walk to Emmaus community.  She is a musician and there was just something about her, I love to listen to her sing and more than that, I love watching her worship God in music.  She is one of those ladies that decided to pick up the guitar and teach herself how to play after the age of 40, maybe even closer to the age of 45.  She is married to Matt, and the mother of Ashley and Kristen.  We have always enjoyed talking about our Kristen's.  

She and Matt minister to the youth in their community, they are the youth directors in their church and they are always looking for ways to encourage and lift them up.  Ready to listen and always on their knees.  She and Matt also pull a trailer that houses a clean bathroom and washer/dryer to disaster areas.     

She was a big part of my sanity when I had the opportunity to be God 's clay vessel through the role of lay director for a walk in November of '08.  She had been in that position two years prior and lead by the Holy Spirit, she would pick up the phone at just the right time to check on me.  

She has shared her home, her food, her testimony, her wisdom, and her calm encouragement with me and she would share what ever you needed with you, as well.  

She had a dream about me one night, she said she couldn't remember the dream exactly, she thought it had something to do with me and my kids, but the next day she said, "every time I would think of that dream, I would wonder why did I dream about Jerri Ann and I would pray for you."  We hadn't talked since the walk in November.  Turns out it was the same day that I was giving my testimony at a women's ministry dinner at my home church in May.  How about that!  She is my sister in Christ and even though we don't talk often, we still have that tie.  The fact that the Holy Spirit would bring me to her heart during her sleep and she would be on her knees for me the next day brings me a sense of peace and love directly from the Father's heart through the heart of one of His daughters for me.  Amen.  

If you do not know this love that God has for you, I urge you to turn your face towards Him, and ask Jesus into your heart.  He came for sinners, not for judgement, to give us grace, peace, salvation, hope, mercy.  No matter what you have experienced in this life, Jesus loves you so much that he spread His arms wide open and laid on the cross for you.  

She is one of those women whose is an amazing wife, mother, daughter, and friend. And she is a beloved child of the King.  

I am afraid I have not done her justice with this writing, but I promise, if you met her you would love her too.

     

Titus 2 Tuesday

Welcome to Tuesday.  Shanda at A Teachable Heart, what a sweet gal, has a link to post your thoughts and memories on women who have been Titus 2 women in your lives.  Past or present

I pray before I begin writing, "God who is my post about this morning?  Who do you want me to write about?"  Not silly, it's a good thing.   God answers prayers and if I want all the glory to go to Him then I ask Him what or who do You want me to write about.

An easy name to write about is coming to my mind so here goes.

My friend's name is Daphne Delay, 

she is an ordained minister and minister's Family Harvest Church with her husband, Todd.  She also has a women's ministry called Mirror Ministries.  

I will never forget the first time I heard her.  It felt like the whole room fell away and only she and I were left.  

She told her testimony about looking in the mirror and feeling the voice of God tell her to look real close.  She kept getting closer and closer until she was about an inch from the mirror and looking directly into her own eyes, He said, "tell her you love her and that you forgive her."  

Those words still sting the backs of my eyes.  "Tell her you love her, " the hardest person to forgive is ourselves.  And she, through her own testimony, told me what she had learn from God.  And I too went to that mirror with her and faced my own eyes and told that girl that I loved her and I forgive her."  Me!  

I knew that talk was for me.  I rushed outside with one of the clergy that was there and I cried and cried and confessed and we prayed and prayed and I agreed with God that day.  And I have never been the same since.  

Daphne keeps me and all of us who know her and you too if you wanted, lifted up with weekly devotions.  She sends them out to your e-mail.  She is a gifted speaker and author and she will come to your group and what ever she talks about will come straight from the heart of God.

She's like a "rock star" to those of us who get to work with her on various projects.  The walk to Emmaus being one of them.  

She is a Titus 2 women, teaching women to be reverent in the way they live.  Her passion is to teach us the righteousness we have in Christ Jesus.  That we are in right standing with God and walk believing and speaking that belief.  Not always an easy thing to wrap our minds around.

Thank you Daphne.  I love you.

"I used to look in the mirror and wonder wonder

who is this girl looking back at me?

Windows to my soul, my eyes told on her.

She said, "Please forgive me

and set me free."

Many tears were shared that day between she and I.

Now, I look and know

who that girl is looking aback at me.

Her name is Forgiven."

-Daphne

I am so thankful for mentors like Daphne.  Thank you Lord Jesus, that you love us and that you have encounters with us everyday.  If we just open our eyes to You, you are there in the mirror, in our own eyes and in the eyes of our friends.