Today Is The First Day of The Rest of My Life

Well Friday was, actually.  Today is the third day of the rest of my life.

I'm on a diet.  Today is day three and I'm a little bit hungry to be real honest.  BUT!!!

And that is a big but, not as in butt which is also pretty big these days, so hence the diet.

I have had a hard time taking this mid-life weight off,  so I sought help.  I went to a doctor with a weight loss program and a diet plan.  I am drinking three shakes a day and eating one meal and I can eat all the pickles I want!  Hey now that's a diet for me!!

And I am getting up in the morning and walking 30 minutes on the treadmill.

It just came down to "want to."  I had to find my want to.  Food is not really an emotional thing for me, if anything it might be a boredom thing but my problem has not been how much I eat but what I'm eating.

God has been talking to me for a pretty long while now.  I am so thankful that he keeps after me and doesn't do to me what I would do, which is ask once maybe twice and then say "away with you, off with her head!"

Not really, I wouldn't say off with her head!  Ha.

Would I, Mom?

Forget that I said that.

God has spoken to me through friends and family on multiple occasions.  I had to finally quit kidding myself that I could eat anything and everything that I wanted to and get my priorities straight.  Be honest with myself.

Here's the deal, I'm weighing in at 168.5 and I want to weigh 135.  I wearing size 12 and I want to wear 6's.  They measured me to but sorry I don't remember what those were.  That's the facts.  I realize that is not as much as some have to lose and more than some but the things is, it is a change and change takes perseverance and determination and want to.

So the diet this doctor gave me has almost nothing on that I like.  Normally, that would be a stumbling block but not this time!  I'm ready to get back to the girl I use to be.  The one whose philosophy was "eat to live not live to eat" and whose body craved the good stuff, like vegetables and salads and water.

My honey stood in the kitchen tonight and asked me, "so am I on a diet too?"

Yes, yes you are.  Are you okay with that?

The way I see it is you have to want it more than you want the chips or the chocolate or the whatevers, so when my brain finally puts it in that perspective there is no temptation to cheat, at all!  I simply don't want it.

I have a deep desire to please God and to grow closer to Him through this time of transition by praying when cravings come along and trusting His word that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Which has been a mantra that I repeat whenever I feel the need for strength.

Like I said this is just day 3 and I have 87 more to go.  My goal is to lose 35 lbs and at 10 lbs per month, I should be reaching my goal by Thanksgiving.

In the grand scheme of things not so much time to spend setting yourself free from the bondage that holds you down, makes you feel guilty, robs you of your energy and just plan makes you feel not so pretty anymore.

Let's face it I like clothes and I want to walk in my closet in the mornings and grab whatever pair of jeans I want to wear and put them on!  Pick out a cute shirt and an equally cute pair of shoes and hit the floor running.  No longer focused on the clothes that don't fit and looking for that ONE pair of jeans, hoping they have been washed or not washed.  Know what I mean?

I want to honor God by respecting my body which is His temple.  And then there are the kids.  My job is to show them how to dig down deep and pull out the strength and determination to face any obstacle, claim it and make it your own.

I'm not saying it is easy, but I am also not saying that it has been that hard.  Today was day three and this was the day that I was suppose to have a big headache from sugar withdrawals.  I had a small one this morning but it just went away.  They tell me that day five is the day when I will feel bad from carbohydrate withdrawals, but you know what, I have things to do that day.  So I don't have time for that either.  We'll see, I'll let you know how it goes.

Until then, I am not letting go.  I will not give in.  I want this bad enough to pay the price it takes to get it.  And if that price is to deny myself some things then I'm good with that.

Oh yea and hunger pains they are sign that what your doing is working.  It's not like we are really going to starve to death.  So when I feel hungry I call that victory.

Maybe do a little victory dance.  And then get me a pickle or something raw, like celery.

Maybe you ladies here can be one more accountability group for me.  If you are on the same journey that I am we can go together or if you are facing this in your future let me be your cheering partner.

I picked up a book called "Made To Crave".  She is digging deep into scripture and showing all the places that Satan used food to draw us away from God.  Our cravings are carvings for God and we replace them with the things of this world be it food, or whatever vice that has a hold on you.  We are meant for so much more in this life.  There is kingdom work to be done and I am not a very good servant when I don't feel good.

So no more.


Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.   Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 


In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.  And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,

and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

because the Lord disciplines those he loves, 

and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

  
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons (and daughters).


Hebrews 12:1-7
      

Quick Update

Tomorrow is our 6th chemo treatment.  We've spent one more weekend in the hospital but this one wasn't as bad.  As soon as his fever started we got right in the car, so the hospital stay only lasted two days and nights.  

One thing we've learned is that the seventh day after his treatment is the day his white blood cell counts are the lowest and that is the day his is most suseptibll to getting sick, so ... our game plan is to stay home, stay inside and stay away from everybody for just a few days.  Then the white blood cells begin to build back up. 

 

Our goal is to get finished with his chemo treatments and get to feeling  better. 

 

So, there you go.  Oh yea, I will be gone for a few days.  In the city with my honey tomorrow (Tuesday), then to Anah's house for her 1st birthday (Wednesday) and then home Thursday.

And a little tease.  I've been playing in burlap again.

Ooh, so cute.  I can't wait to show you.

Have God blessed week girlfriends.  See ya.

Update on my Honey

We're struggling a bit.  I announced a while back that my husband had been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.  We've had two chemo treatments and everything is going well but he is also a diabetic and some of the medications he was taking to control nausea causes his blood sugar levels to rise.  Dramatically.  So we've been struggling lately.  The doctors have put him on insulin shots, he was on pills before, to control his blood sugar. 

 His hair is falling out.  We've had many conversations about the fact that he does not have much hair. I tell him he looks good to me. Mainly, he has conversates, I listen.  But I like it that way.  I like listening to him talk.  Might as well, that's how our relationship started out.  He talked, I listened, he thought I was the smartest thing he had ever ran into.  There's some wisdom for you.  Silence, be fluent in this language it'll take you places.

  But still I know he is surprised by what he sees in the mirror.  I am encouraged to be able to say that he still has an excellent attitude.  It snowed this morning and we still haven't melted the snow from a week ago so he is burning brush piles.  The man is right in his element.  Set him free, put him in the back pasture and he is a happy man.  

So this is just a little post to let any of you who know, who stop by, where are with his treatments.  Cause you asked and as weird as it seems to others outside blogland, it matters to us.  We're friends.  When we are away from each other, we wonder.  We start looking at our lives differently and think "ooh that will make a good post", we need the rest of the story.  

Maybe someday I should tell you more about how we met and the things he has taught me.  

Not today, though sorry for the tease.  Company's coming and I have got to finish cleaning and get some supper cooking.  

:) 

Salty Christmas

I want to tell you, before I go into the candle tutorial that I have planned where I have been for the last month.  My honey has been diagnoised with NHL.  Life happens and sometimes sitting in a room in front of the computer by yourself just isn't the place to be.  

My plan was never to be absent from daily posting, as you can see by having a professional page designed just for me.  This cancer is treatable and we can live with that.  One thing that has always been consistant with us is we don't give in and we don't give up.  Give me a fight and fight I will.  I'm not pretending that at times tears don't stream down my face as I look at the path set out before us, they do.  But God quietly assures me He is with us and not be afraid.  A beautiful friend of mine has been texting me my "Do not fear" text for the day.  Her Mom points out that the phrase "do not fear" appears in the bible 365 times, that's one for every day.  So obviously God knew we would deal with fear.  

I do not intend to turn this page into a daily blog about our ups and downs, but then I never really had a plan except to see if I could write, so maybe it will be what it has always been about - our daily life.  

So all that to say this - Our God is Big.  Really Big.  and His world is beautiful.  Tuesday I took some cool pictures that I will put up tomorrow (frozen spider webs on a fence), if I can wait that long.  It looks like I may need to have a little planning and have some post ready to go ahead of time as we deal with the doctor appointments and treatment day and meal planning and just hanging out together.  

And so ... "Our Salty Christmas."  With the affairs of the day, I have decided not to put up a Christmas tree this year only because, I'm tired and I don't want to.  But the Nester's Christmas tour and my desire to participate has encouraged me and given me the energy to push through and get it done. 

Here are some candle sticks that I have had for a year and never put a candle on. Why, you ask?  The reason is simple - they have one of those big 'ol spike things coming up out of the middle  and most of my candles had that metal thingy so it never worked.  This year, determined to make it work, I picked up some candles without the metal piece.  

However when I plunged them down on that big 'ol spike thingy, they broke.  The picture isn't very clear but they just cracked right up the side.   ( ? hum sounding a little like life - cracking up the side)

What is a crafty girl like me to do?  Put a little paper on it.  I love scrapbook paper.  

Sealed those cracked candles right up.  

And that's it for my first installment of our Salty Christmas decor.  Thank you very much.

Seriously, this is a beautiful time of the year and the reason we celebrate is The Beautiful One.  Merry Christmas everyone.  I love you.