It's been a while since I have come here and I am not going to begin with any excuses or justifications about why I haven't written in two plus years. At least not here. I don't expect any readers or comments but what I do want to do is begin again.
The last time I left this place I was in the first and worst writer's block of my life. It lasted two years!
Writing for me is a challenge because it takes F O R E V E R! Anyone ever feel like that? With all the editing and word structure and changing and editing and ... whew, the list goes on and on. So this time, today, I am just going to get my thoughts out and see where it takes me.
I would like to think of myself as beyond new year resolutions but as this year got closer I realized that indeed there was something special about a new year. It is hope for a new beginning and I really did want to make new resolutions.
I like that some people pray for God to give them a word for the year and they keep that word in front of them all year. I prayed too, and asked God for a word but I can't really say that I got just one word. What I received was a phrase, "Are you willing to work for it" and "learn to suffer well."
God knew what was on my heart and that I want to be all that He has called me to be and with that comes the desire to be fit. So my two phrases are going to deal with first, my weight and level of physical activity or lack there of, and then we'll see what He has in store for me after that.
First things first. Am I willing to work for it, like with my muscles because let face it, new years resolutions usually have something to do with what you didn't do last year. Am I willing to put forth the effort to do something I don't want to do because I am lazy and I am I willing to do it again and again even when my muscle are sore and I don't want to because, hello, lazy.
Today, I have joined Proverbs 31 Ministries on-line Bible study "Made To Crave." One of the last stories I wrote here on Salty Sister was on this very book and the subject of weight. Be that loss or gain. Gain. We'll just stay with that. In the years since, I went to a doctor's clinic and got on their weight loss program and lost 40 lbs. WOW! And gained it right back. Boo. So here I am again. Chronicling my life.
Today, I identified what my "monster" looks like. You know if you were to visualize your cravings to be an animated thing that moves and talks what would it be? And if I could have a conversation with said craving thing what would it say to me and what would I ask it?
My craving monster looks like water. Why? Because, as my Dad use to tell me, water follows the path of least resistance and that is what my cravings feel like. So, I asked, what do you "water" have to say to me? Answer: Your easy. Why can't I resist you? Answer: Because you don't want to.
Made to Crave is about recognizing and replacing your God given cravings for Him with Him. Satan uses that against us. Just like he did with Eve in the garden. Now to get to the bottom of what I am really craving and why, and to "recalibrate" my thinking and desires. I don't want to be easy and I don't want to lose this battle that rages within - again.
1John 2:15-16 - Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world - the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does - comes not from the Father but from the world. NIV
1John 2:15-16 the Voice - Don't fall in love with this corrupt world or worship the things it can offer. Those who love its corrupt ways don't have the Father's love living within them. All the things the world can offer to you - the allure of pleasure, the passion to have things, and the pompous sense of superiority - do not come from the Father. These are the rotten fruits of this world. vs 17. This corrupt world is already wasting away, as are its selfish desires. But the person really doing God's will - that person will never cease to be.
Now to break that down. The word worship really stuck out to me because when I overeat and eat foods, (read that as sugar and starchy things that turn to sugar and deposit itself on my hips and thighs) just because I want to. I am counting them as higher, more important than my body. This God given body, designed by Him, created for Him, breathed life into by Him. I am worshipping sugar. Gross. Looks and feels pretty gross too!
In verse 17, the phrase selfish desires gets to me too. That really is what overeating is all about for me. I am feeding selfish desires to replace what is necessary with what is easy.
* Cravings - meeting physical desires outside of the will of God.
* Lust of the eyes: meeting material desires outside the will of God.
* Boasting: meeting needs for significance outside the will of God.
These are the tools Satan used on Eve and these are the tools he uses on me. When something works why change it, right?
I don't like being an easy a target. I think of myself as being a much stronger person (boasting) than that, but truth has just jumped up off a page and hit me right in the heart. SMACK!
Now what am I going to do about it?
Do what Jesus did. When he was in the desert and after fasting for forty days and forty nights, Satan came and tempted Him. Jesus used scripture to defeat temptation. That is what I am going to do.
My memory verse for this week is;
How lovely is Your dwelling place,
O LORD of Heaven's Armies.
I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the LORD.
With my whole being, body and soul,
I will shout joyfully to the living God. NLT
So now...drum roll please, I am going to lay our the facts! ( don't read that as Si saying, just the facts jack or I will smack you!) No not really, I love Si. I just get that stuck in my head and the truth is I read that exact way. Let's continue shall we.
The facts" 5'6" tall, weighing in at 175 lbs, size 12 jeans (my fat jeans) too tight,
size large panties - too tight (you know you are in trouble when your panties get too tight) This is just all girls club right? Guys don't read that last sentence! Assuming that there is anyone reading of course. Oh I make me laugh.
I think that is enough about me. No need for measurements.
So, there it is, my first post, again. Hope you are finding the strength to achieve and be all that God has called you to be.
The Big Boo Cast, Episode 38
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