I Am Free to Turn North and Remain

First, a funny story.

I made some cake pops for the birthday party I threw for our little girls.  My step-son asked me how I made them, so I told him all about it, first cake mix, baked, cooled and then crumbled.  Then add the frosting, not all, I added two thirds and that may have been too much, then roll your balls, . . .

yes I said it that way . . .

and you may want to roll your balls smaller than I did mine because they were too heavy to stay on the stick,

and that's when I lost him.

Yes I told my son to roll his balls smaller so that they would stay on the stick.

Classic.

My second week on my diet - er - lifestyle change has been a success.  As of Saturday, I have lost 9 lbs and 2 1/2 inches on my hips!  HELLO!  Or as Danya would say Holler!

So worth all the broccoli and asparagus this girl can eat. And pickles!  The nurse told me to eat all the pickles I want when I am having cravings.  They are serious about this pickle thing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The book "Made To Crave" started singing my song and I hung on every word.  If you are a dieter go get it.

Don't wait.

Do it.

Now!

These last two weeks haven't been all easy but they have been all worth it.  I feel better than I have for a very long time.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  "Our chains are no longer holding us, we are holding them!" Thanks for that line Beth Moore.

So true, we have the power to be successful.  Anything less is disbelief!

Excerpts from the book that is waking me up and walking me through the "Stinking, Rotten, Horrible, No Good Days", chapter 11.

(Note all type in blue is quoted from the Lysa TurKeurst's book, "Made to Crave".)

"Either we can be victimized and become victims, or we can be victimized and rise above it."  Ruth Graham.

POWERFUL!!!!

She continues to say, "Often it is easier to play the victim than take off our masks and ask for help.  We get comfortable with our victim status.  It becomes our identity and is hard to give up.  The Israelites often played the victim card, and I love what God finally tells them, 'You have circled this mountain long enough. NOW TURN NORTH!' (emphasis mine)  (Deuteronomy 2:23 [NASB]) .

Turn north! It's time to move on!  Self-pity, fear, pride, and negativity paralyze us.  Taking off our masks takes courage, but if we don't do it, we will remain in our victim status and end up stunted".  


Or in this case, overweight and unhealthy, further compounding our feelings of being victimized by our circumstances.   So, what can we do when we don't have the energy or the fortitude or the desire to eat healthy?

Or in my case, keep my mouth shut, to control my tongue and truly, honestly depend on God in all my circumstances?

I have a personal situation that I don't like.  I don't like it and I don't want it!  But I can't do anything about it.

It's complicated.

I am second.

I am the second wife.  And there is nothing I can do about that.  It just is.  I love Jesus, his compassion fills my heart and I don't want anyone to suffer, so I reached out to "my ex-wife", as I like to call her.  I didn't want her to be lonely when her kids were gathered at my house and she was alone at hers.  So, I invited her to dinner and she accepted.  Fast forward a few years and now she comes to stay at our home up to five days at a time!

I know, that could be weird.

Sometimes it is,
Sometimes it is difficult,
Sometimes there is a stab of pain from a thing said, a comment made, and
Sometimes it is just plain . . . not fun.

And sometimes it's okay, enjoyable even.

It's my house and my kitchen, we live 8 miles from the nearest town and even if we wanted to go in and eat, there is no place worth going in and eating at!  So, I am stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the rest of the family is visiting and laughing and watching movies.

Did I say I don't like and I don't want it?  

So how does this play into my diet?

It causes me to focus on things I cannot change, rather than on God.
It plays the track of defeat in my mind, it makes me uncomfortable, and sets me up for my resolve to be weaken.

And it plays right into the devil's hand.

Because my mind is playing a track of defeat and my tongue is restless inside my mouth all I want to do is lash out.

I know that I cannot allow that to rule my heart and my mind.  I know that it would back up all the hard work that has gone into making two families one.  Or at least like each other.  Let me tell you, this blended family thing can be just as hard as it is rewarding.  It takes work and a lot of it and it takes perseverance and compromise.

I know that Jesus' way is to turn the other cheek, to love others as you love yourself and to see things as God sees them.  My ex-wife may be taking advantage of my good nature, but maybe there is a bigger purpose at work here.  Maybe, God is loving on her through me, maybe He is showing the rest of the family what His heart looks like, how it treats others and that His sacrifice was so great that we can sacrifice what little is asked of us, too.

So, what's a Jesus loving girl to do?

Turn to God, accept His teachings and do what he says to do.

My philosophy on this is, "if you have decided to ask for help, then be prepared to take that help".  In others words, do what they tell you.  Whether you have decided to ask a parent, a spouse, a friend or especially God, do it!  Do it now, don't wait.  Do what you know is right, what will cause the least harm, and keep the peace.  Amen.

 Controlling my tongue and my thoughts and my cravings for things that will never love me back, that only seek to destroy and do not result in victory and will never fulfill the longing that is inside my heart is often times hard.  And lets face hard is just plain hard to do.  I know simple, but true.

(Neither will finally putting on that skinny pair of jeans or losing 9 pounds or 20 or anything else.  Only Jesus can fill what is lacking inside our hearts).

Even though I lost weight and I am off to a great start, I still dealt with the things that go wrong in life.  I still turned on the track of self pity and I still need God to fill me.  

We often hear that God will not give you more than you can handle.  The thing is God never said that.  He said that he would not let you be tempted without a way out (1 Cor. 10:13)  In fact it may just be God that gives us more than we can handle, so that we will depend on Him rather than ourselves.  I read that in another great book that is out there, "Weird" by Craig Groeschel.

Control, whether is it your tongue or your cravings, takes work.  Sometimes you just have to walk away from the places, things or people who test you and make it hard to resist.  Go to God and take off your mask and ask for help.  Unmasking ourselves is the first step to receiving the help that we need.

I had a stinkin', rotten, no good day!  I wallered in self pity and really wanted to say all the things that were running through my mind.  But, my husband was so helpful and supportive.   He made great strides to make sure that I knew where his focus was, with me, and it brought joy to someone else's heart.  


So, I took the advice that was so wisely given, I turned north.  I sought the Lord for my comfort  and advice.  Romans 8:28 came to mind.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.



Hope all is well in your households.

See ya.

Jeremy + Jill

He met her through mutual friends in January and brought her home to meet me in July.  I knew the moment I laid eyes on her it was only a matter of time that she would be his and he would be hers.

His job on Friday was to find the spot.  She wanted water, they thought the beach but that turned out not to be, so when I got there we scouted out the lake.

He found his spot

and laid his claim.


She chose black and ivory as her colors but Jeremy loves orange so he added that in his tie.  While we were at the store I kept showing him black ties, we looked at silver and red.  Then he spotted this one with orange in it and it was so him.  It just seemed perfect.

This is their friends and Mark is what their friends call his twin brother.  Not so much from looks although they do favor but from mannerisms.  This is Mark and Tara.

and this is baby Mark.

As we waited for the bride

the boys strike a pose.

and skip some rocks.

and wait, not anxiously but patiently.  Jill's Mom had a terrible time getting down for the wedding.   First her flight was canceled then she was flown to the next town over and then she was put on stand by and then they lost her luggage and it didn't show up until Sunday afternoon.  So she and Jill had to make a fast and furious shopping trip for a dress.

All the waiting paid off

When we looked up the hill and see her coming in her little Ford chariot.

I made this for her to have something to carry, I don't think she needed it but I totally enjoyed making it and it turned out to be a perfect way to add some orange to the brides ensemble.

Sweet Jillian McCauley

He finally sees his bride and the dress.

Mr and Mrs Jeremy Buckley.

The momma's signed the marriage certificate as the two witnesses.

At the end of the day, it was a perfect and beautiful wedding.

The Saga of the Sweetheart and The Chicken Dancer

We showed cattle at the New Mexico State Fair over the weekend

His idea of lunch was a snowcone ours was corn dogs and hot dogs, I mean it was a fair.

Just one look into his eyes and you can see that he is the sweetheart.

I asked him who is the heart for?

My Momma.

Awe.

If you have ever shown animals at fairs you know that it can be a lot of work but for a very imaginative seven year old, it can be . . . well you'll see.

  First he found the zip ties and made the heart for Mom, then he kept adding them on and  decided it was a crown or a hat or I'm not sure what he was calling it.  

And then . . .

. . . it became tail feathers and he became "the chicken dancer".

What follows is surely State Fair History!  Surely.

What's up with this guy in the orange shirt, he never cracked a smile, never look Tyler's way, nothing.

Curious. Anyway on with the show.

On the front of the bucket is a sign that says, "will dance for chicken change".  People actually gave and they earned $27.00 which they donated to the FFA for a charity that they were sponsoring.  He drew quite the crowd, some people just camped out to watch him and some brought friends back around to see him.

He had a lot of stamina and determination, I think he was at for well over an hour.  Kaden played out early but not Tyler, he worked it.

And that is the saga of the state fair chicken dancers.