Honestly, I didn't want to talk about it but I knew I had to do something and I thought I would have gotten around to it by now. But this is what my craft room looks like, again.
and has since November.
I made a promise to myself that I would post "Keeping it Real" post from time to time.
So, there it is. I have not created a single thing. Not one. single. thing. I tried closing the door when company came over but everyone wants to see the craft room so they came on in anyway. And, my honey, he is so proud of me that he showed it off to a man I didn't even know! And even at that, my embarrassment was not enough to spur me on. I couldn't seem to get off high center, maybe that's low center.
What do you do when things get to pushing against you? You Push back. Push through it, push in spite of it, push until you see progress and then you push until you find joy in getting the job done.
So, this post is something I really did not want to show you. I did not want to admit that I am in this state again. And frankly, I did't feel like getting it to the beautiful state it was in when I pushed in here the last time.
When I was a young mother and wife, I didn't do the housework like I should and my house became so cluttered that I didn't think I would ever get it cleaned. All the while, my nose was stuck in Better Homes and Garden magazines, dreaming about a home that looked like the ones pictured there. The clutter took over our house. Dirty dishes were stacked in the sink and on the counter and every newspaper, milk carton, picante sauce and pickle jar we had ever used was stacked in any place there was a surface to stack something on. Because......we might need it someday.
One night, I was in the laundry room moving piles around, when I noticed the stack of milk cartons were starting to curve over. They looked like they were going to topple on top of me. I had piles everywhere. Piles of clean clothes on the couch and piles of dirty clothes on the floor.
One day I decided to do something about it. To decide is to make up one's mind as to what shall be done and to come up with a plan to make it happen.
And that, my dear friends, is when the earth starts to move because when a women has decided in the truest sense of the word, things are about to change.
The battle was my mind. It comes down to one thing, how bad do you want it?
When I have dieted successfully (in the past) whatever had been a temptation for me no longer was because my desire to lose the weight was greater than my desire to eat, so it was easy. My desire to lose weight was greater than my desire to eat the things I shouldn't, so I lost the weight and kept it off.
My mind had changed, fundamentally, deep down, DNA rearranging, bone changed. I decided, I was resolved in my determination, I settled upon a purpose and made up my mind.
My plan was simple, throw it all away. I laid awake that night forming every step in my mind. I knew that when I got up the next morning exactly what I was going to do. Feed the kids breakfast, put them in the car, drive the 15 miles to town, go to the grocery store and find the biggest box of black trash bags I could find, come home, back the car up to the back door, leave trunk open and clean house!
I started with all the piles and stacks in the house. As I filled each bag up I would toss it out the back door into the open trunk of the car. The kids bedroom looked like they had a carpet of miniature plastic Lego pieces. I scooped all those little pieces of plastic into the black trash bag. I knew what toys they played with and everything else was just in the way, so I threw it all away. I know I should have donated it or put it up, recycled it and things like that. But this was an emergency and sometimes you don't have the gumption to do anything but get it done. The project was too big to give any energy to sorting and storing and dividing. No, this was a time for action. Besides, if my kids didn't like playing with that stuff no one else was going to want it either.
I learned through this process that I spent more time avoiding the work than it took to do the work. I learned to time myself. It only takes about twenty minutes to wash, dry and put up the dishes. Same for laundry. Just minutes.
So this week I turned around and I looked at the sad state I let this room get into.
Then - I decided - made my mind up - to push back.
My motivation was low and the weight of it made my energy level feel low. I needed some baby steps. I picked up a trash bag, white this time, and walked around the room and threw away what I knew was trash and that was all I did the first day. The second day, I still didn't want to do it, but I decided to clean off the corner my computer is in - then I moved to one of the tables and then to the next. By the time the day was over I had cleaned the whole room!
It was done! I was free again!
I hate clutter, I can't think when it is around. God is not a God of chaos, He is a God or order. There is nothing random about His creation. Everything was done with a purpose and since we are His creation, we need order and purpose in our lives too.
So if you are faced with what looks like a mountain, remember take a baby step and then another. Time yourself. You'll be surprised how little time it really takes to get the job done. I promise you, you are spending more time avoiding it than it will take to do it. And then blessing on top of blessing, there really is joy in the mundane, the ordinary simple things of life.
Sometimes you just have to push back.
Never did like drama, just keep calm and carry on.